Today is my birthday, and as such, time for the usual annual cleanup; if I don't recognize you next time we meet, please accept my apologies, and ask me to re-upload our shared memories from external storage. Hopefully the cost of bioRAM will come down a bit next year, and I can finally afford to keep all of my memories inside my skull again.

The trouble with stupid people is that the Schrödinger gun doesn't work on them.

I mean, they're sentient, sure, but if they're thoroughly trained, and thoroughly stupid, what consciousness there is has no bearing on their behavior. So it's of no use whatever to disrupt it. They'll still shoot you.

The telepath revolution had been a tough part of Earth's history, but now a new scourge threatened geopolitical stability: "ventriloquist" telepaths. Within a certain range, this new breed could project their own thoughts and feelings in such a way that they appeared to come from another individual.

"Today on BBC Sport, we turn to the disqualification of Didrik Armstrong from the Tour de France, when it was discovered that the other eight members of his team were Simacrulogues. There has long been suspicion in the global community that such tactics were in play, as Didrik's teammates often wear themselves to the point of exhaustion in order to support his win, while they themselves attain no glory.

"The deception was discovered this afternoon when the teammate riding just ahead of Armstrong collapsed on the track; Didrik blacked out at the same instant, prompting doctors to hook up a portable MRI to both individuals. When their brainwave readings appeared nearly identical, other team members were scanned as well.

"Mindsynch Inc., the worlds largest producer of Simacrulogues, said it holds no responsibility for any owner's use of their secondary bodies."